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Posts Tagged ‘issues’

Here they be spoilers for the I Kissed a Girl, which is NOT a lesbian anthem by the way episode of Glee.  So if you haven’t watched the 11/29 episode of Glee or you think they handled their race and sexuality issues well don’t click this. Because I am quite upset about the episode.

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A library filled with books, some older than the United States. The smell of old leather and musty paper fills your nose like an intoxicating aroma. In this room lies thoughts about humanity, what is life, what are feelings, why do we have relationships, what sorts of relationships are worthy of fighting for. All of the questions of our existence and the beyond lie within these walls, between these tomes, between the beginning and the end. Our thoughts written down to be shared with others as though screaming out to the world that we aren’t alone. We all strive, we all dream. What is it to be a human and what makes us different than the animals? What makes us the same?

Between these walls lie the questions and answers of the ages, marking a people, a society, a world. And it makes me think how little we have learned from our forefathers, how much we have in common with one another, and what really is important in life. Is it prosperity and the accumulation of wealth? Is it the moments of happiness, joy, tragedy, and peace that fill our lives? Is it the families and the values we build with one another?

Two dates and a name are all that will be left behind when you’ve gone, and the only thing that matters is the dash between them.

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Body Image

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/03/26/french-emelleem-features_n_514800.html#s76299

http://ichooselove.com/in-the-face-of-real-beauty/

Real beauty. You know what’s really sad? Watch a movie from 10 years ago and look at the girls, and pay attention to your thoughts, how you look at the girls and are like huh, she’s kind of fat. I did this the other day! And these girls are maybe a size 4! Or look at pictures of Lindsay Lohan from Parent Trap on. Or Britney Spears and Christina Aguillera. It’s sad. Real people aren’t skeletons. Eat a cheeseburger!

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I read something about people who post blogs being egotistical and selfish. Maybe it’s selfish to post about myself, but that’s what blogging is about, sharing your story. I like blogging to help me remember things, feelings, emotions. I wrote in a diary for years for the same reason. I want to remember. So I’m going to keep writing and ignore the haters.

It’s Monday so I’m going to post about fitness and weight loss issues. I am now officially smaller than I was when I got married and smaller than I was in high school. I’m a loose size 10 and I was an 11-13 in high school. I’m pretty proud. You can see it in my face a lot I think. I’m trying to decide if I want to slow down to a maintenance routine or keep working to match me at me smallest, an 8. I think I could get to an 8 by Christmas. My stomach pooches out when I sit still and that’s what I’ve been working on the most, so we’ll see.

In an act of pure embarrassment I want to post some measurements of before and now. My ass was 50 inches, my lower abs were 49 inches, waist 44 inches, and upper thigh 30 inches. I was a really tight size 16. I’m now a loose size 10. Ass 41, lower ab 40, waist 32, and thigh 25. Maybe I’ll post a before and current picture later. So don’t give up! Be consistent. This is my progress after 6 months exercising sometimes haphazardly.

I’m happy and trying to focus on that even when I’m sad or homesick. Though I have to say I’m more homesick for things like geography and people than anything else. Yes, there’s some things I miss like this nice facewash I got at Ulta and Steven misses cheap Dr. Pepper, but I don’t miss the states. I miss the mountains, driving up and going hiking. I miss the beauty of Rocky Mountain National Park, especially Nymph Lake which is probably my favorite place on the planet. Yellow water lilies that look like tulips budding up and resting across the water like a steel blanket speckled with gold and bits of sunshine. I miss people. The time zone issues are a pain pretty often. As I’m starting to prepare things for Christmas gifts I’m filled with sadness and excitement. Excited about seeing Christmas here and being with Steven, but also a little sad about spending Christmas alone again. I’m really going to miss Halloween which is coming up fast. I wish I was closer to people and heard from them more often. I miss friends I texted regularly and now rarely talk to because, understandably, people are busy. I’ve missed this since graduating college, but I really miss having a group of people to nerd out with at a midnight premieres like Harry Potter, books, or a new video game like Zelda or Star Wars (though I have gotten a bit of nerding out with a couple of people online who were really excited about all the stuff I posted from Comic Con cough Ryan and Jennifer cough cough). I hope we get to play together when Old Republic comes out. I miss a school environment, solving problems with my friends, like how to reach kids or talk to people about tough issues. Then there are the things I missed even before coming here. Like friends that I don’t talk to much. Family I don’t see often. Experiences like houses bustling with people and ridiculous amounts of Italian food.

But I’m learning to enjoy the quiet and be at peace with me. Lots of projects in the works. Staying busy with other things. Trying to find time to meet people and do things at CERN. Traveling and visiting and exploring. Trying to find a place to live has been trying. Things will come together, but that doesn’t always stop my brain or my heart from longing and dreaming.

Housing is pretty different in Europe. First of all, Europeans LOVE old things. It makes Steven mad that people we have talked to when we ask dude, why do you keep the old barn falling apart in your back yard? They respond, it’s been in my family for 200 years and my grandfather did just fine with it like that so I thought I would leave it that way. I love the construction of the cement buildings, but Steven doesn’t like it so much because it’s often dirty or covered with moss. He doesn’t understand the character of the oldness and wants it to be new and fixed. This also has to do with a number of WWII damage sites that we’ve heard about /seen online and want to go visit. He doesn’t understand why they’d just leave it there all gross and broken. We’ve made a lot of advancements in insulation you know for the houses. Or why don’t they make a better office building instead of that broken up thing? LOL. Oh Steven and you’re cutting/bleeding edge, FIX IT, nature. Then you’ve got size to deal with along with this old style. Things here are much smaller and more compact. The roads and cars are tiny. On the Italian Mini Cooper site they have it listed as a luxury sedan. A MINI COOPER! That’s like a go cart man! So you drive around the little go cart on a street that is about the size of a US sidewalk surrounded by guys on vespas that zip in and out of traffic (and get run over daily and block traffic) on little roads that don’t have stoplights or stop signs, only huge roundabouts that are NO FUN for those of us that get car sick. HAHA Steven! I told you those acupressure bracelets were worth it! So, the houses are small because the amount of available land in a country about the size a New England state. People don’t spread out, they all stay cloistered together in little towns or villages, or in some cases the big city. But there’s nowhere to go but up. And in the wealthiest country in the world, prices can be really expensive. People want $1500 Swiss Francs (about 1.5 American dollars to 1 Franc) for an unfurnished studio. And when they say unfurnished, they’re not playing. No stove, no oven, no fridge, no closets. It can be a bit daunting for someone looking to move into their first place. We can furnish a place with a bedroom set including an armoire and sleigh bed and a couch for about 1500 Francs. That includes a couple of throw rugs for Ezry who doesn’t like the hardwood too much, especially when she’s scared and her little feet fly in circles and she goes nowhere.

I have more to say. I’m trying to split my posts up this week so they’re not as long. So, later dudes.

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From Amy: “The state of Georgia is executing a man who committed the crime of being in the wrong place at the wrong time while black.” The justice system has failed an innocent man with witnesses stating they lied on the stand years ago and their testimony fell on deaf ears. It’s like we’ve taken so many steps backwards in the fight for equality the last few years. This story echoes Steve Biko’s case during South African Apartheid. My heart is with the family who is suffering at the loss of an innocent man, and for the miserable family that requires more blood to satisfy their ache. Darlings, the death of another man will not satisfy the hurt you feel, only bring more pain. Look at Bud Welch and everything he’s done since the OKC bombing.

http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/1998-11-03/news/9811020165_1_bill-mcveigh-bud-welch-death-penalty

I had found someone who was a bigger victim of the Oklahoma bombing than I was, because while I can speak in front of thousands of people and say wonderful things about Julie, if Bill McVeigh meets a stranger he probably doesn’t even say he had a son.

Six months after the bombing a poll taken in Oklahoma City of victims’ families and survivors showed that 85% wanted the death penalty for Tim McVeigh. Six years later that figure had dropped to nearly half, and now most of those who supported his execution have come to believe it was a mistake. In other words, they didn’t feel any better after Tim McVeigh was taken from his cell and killed.

http://theforgivenessproject.com/stories/bud-welch-usa

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Originally posted by “darkspirited1” at SIGNAL BOOST: SAY YES TO GAY YA

This comes from an article by lj user “rachelmanija” entitled, Say Yes to Gay YA.
(click the link for the full article)

Our novel Stranger has five viewpoint characters; one, Yuki Nakamura, is
gay and has a boyfriend. Yuki's romance, like the heterosexual ones in
the novel, involves nothing more explicit than kissing.

An agent from a major agency, one which represents a bestselling YA novel in the same genre as ours, called us.

The agent offered to sign us on the condition that we make the gay
character straight, or else remove his viewpoint and all references to
his sexual orientation.

This isn't about that specific agent; we'd gotten other rewrite requests before this one. Previous agents had also offered to take a second look if we did rewrites… including cutting the viewpoint of Yuki, the gay character.

It's time to stand up and demand change. Spread the word everywhere if you are just as angry and outraged by this.

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Dear Facebook,
I think the fake pregnancy thing going around is insensitive. Many women, myself included, have suffered from miscarriages and infertility. It’s not a joke. It’s not funny. And has nothing to do with Breast Cancer Awareness Month, which is October BTW, not to mention we’re all really aware that we can get cancer in our cicis. Please send your advertising money to find a cure!
A concerned human,
Me

“If you played the game, I guarantee you there is someone in your life, someone on your friends list who saw you post your fake pregnancy, and for a moment, she was reminded of her empty aching womb, preparing herself to congratulate you, because she loves you, and yes, she is truly happy for you. She told herself not to be bitter or jealous, and she probably cried. And when she found out it was all a joke, she probably felt anger and pain. Was it worth it to you? Do you think you did your part in helping fight breast cancer or to raise awareness?

I’m all for being proactive. I have a plethora of ideas to help you be more proactive! Next time you get paid, donate some money to the Susan B. Komen for the Cure cause. Donate money to a local clinic that treats breast cancer patients who can’t afford their treatments. If you know someone who has breast cancer, go to her house after she’s had chemo and help take care of her and cook for her family and clean her house so she doesn’t have to. Be her friend. Be sensitive to her needs.

And keep in mind. Many of the young breast cancer survivors who won the battle, are now INFERTILE from the treatments they needed to fight breast cancer. So I imagine a jest of pregnancy “on their behalf” via a facebook status message is probably adding insult to injury. Play a game of tricking your friends and family into thinking you might be pregnant for fun, fine. To each his own on their facebook wall. But to connect it to breast cancer awareness is hardly justified or tactful.

I am pretty confident this “game” was started by someone who will never know what it is to ache and pray for a child and to not be able to have one, or who isn’t close to someone who goes through the same monthly pain I do. When I’m in public and I see a newborn baby, or hear one cry, my attention is diverted to that little baby, and how bad I want one, and what I would give for one…..

You may roll your eyes in irritation when your dear Aunt Flo shows up for her visit, but many times I clean myself up while I CRY!!!!! If you’ve never been through that on a consistant basis, please don’t judge me or my lack of enthusiasm for this whole fad.” – From: http://babybabylemon.bo.lt/h0vv4

You don’t know what it’s like until you’ve been there. I haven’t shared this here because it was really private, but dammit if I get one more message asking me to do this game I’m gonna strangle someone. I had a miscarriage earlier this year. And the author’s right about the bitterness and injustice that is felt when I see newborns or pregnant people. I practically had a meltdown at the zoo seeing all the people and animals with babies. I tear up, I get angry, I lash out, and I question why me. WHY ME! People ask when we’re gonna have kids, what we’re waiting for, what we’re gonna do when we have kids, and I want to punch them in the throat. Don’t get me wrong, every time I see a friend post about how they’re pregnant, or baby pictures, I’m happy for them, THRILLED, I live vicariously through you, but I’m also saddened. I’ve cleaned up messes in TEARS when T.O.M. shows up. It’s heartbreaking. It’s a kick in the stomach that it’s someone else and not me. It’s worse than hearing about when your friends get married and you’re single. This is a biological problem that I can’t fix, and I don’t know if I’ll ever have one of my own or if it’s just “something was wrong with it/the time wasn’t right.” Do you know what I would give to be able to say weeks and cravings, while you’re joking? I would have been starting my third trimester this week. Not to mention the thoughts of maybe I’m not good enough, that’s why it’s happening. Maybe I’d be a bad mom. Or maybe I’d have a kid like my father. What am I going to do if I hurt a kid, if I turn into a monster, or birth someone that hurts kids?

So yeah, this “game” is not funny. It’s awful.

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